


BONUS: How to play Time Lord Go Fish

by literal_semicolon



Series: Can I Park My TARDIS Here? [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bonus, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 03:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10068824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literal_semicolon/pseuds/literal_semicolon
Summary: In "Can I Park My TARDIS Here?" the Doctor, Emily, and Eliza play a very different version of Go Fish.This is the chapter where he taught them. (I decided not to include it in the fanfiction itself because I liked the original transition better. I wrote this a while after I finished "Can I Park My TARDIS Here?")





	

**Author's Note:**

> I completely made up these rules on the spot while writing. Again, these fanfictions are ages old (I think I wrote the first one in 2012).

The Doctor shuffled the cards absently as he told us what we were going to play. “Let’s play Go Fish,” he said.

Emily and I groaned. “Dude,” Em said. “We had enough of that game when we were, like, five. Can’t we play Egyptian Ratscrew or something else a little more challenging?”

“Oh, but you’ll like this one. It’s a different kind of Go Fish entirely.”

The glint in his eye made me wonder if I should worry for my life. “How does that work, exactly?”

“Well, it’s exactly like regular Go Fish. Except with a twist. Say I ask you for an odd-numbered card, and you don’t have it.”

“Go Fish,” I said dryly.

“Right, and then I draw a card, and if it’s not what I asked for, I have to sit upside down until my next turn.” He demonstrated. His head hung over the edge of the couch, his back was where he had been sitting, and his legs were over the back of the couch where his back had been. His hair, which was already messy, hung down and made him look somewhat like a hedgehog. He looked over at Emily. “Now say it’s my turn again—”

“It’s your turn again,” she said, not missing a beat.

“Yes. And I ask you for an even-numbered card—for the purposes of the game, jack, queen and king are alternating odd-even-odd as if they were eleven, twelve, and thirteen—and you don’t have it.”

“Go Fish,” she said, starting to grin.

“Exactly. So I draw a card.” He got up, stood by the couch, and started hopping. “If it’s not what I asked for, I have to hop up and down and spell your entire name. If I misspell it, I have to try again, but spelling it backwards. If I misspell it again, you pick a song, and I have to sing it.”

“A song?” I said. “Like what?”

“I dunno, pick one.”

I looked at Emily and said, “Old McDonald had a TARDIS?”

She said, “How about ‘There was a Time Lord who had a dog’?”

The Doctor interrupted, no longer hopping. “It might be easier if I knew the song.”

Emily shrugged and said, “The song that never ends?”

So the Doctor grinned and sang, “ _This is the song that never ends; yes it goes on and on my friends. Some Time Lords started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…_ ” He paused, then continued his instructions. “But if I spelled your name correctly, I’d flip a coin. Heads: I ask for the same card from someone else with no consequences, or ask for a different card and still have to do whatever comes with whatever card it is. Tails: my turn is over. But we can skip the coin-flipping if you want, and just move on to the next turn. Simple enough?”

I looked at Emily, who didn’t look too confused, then turned back to the Doctor. “The only way to tell is to try it out.”

The Doctor dealt out seven cards apiece, and so started the strangest card game I ever played in my life.


End file.
